Like a fish searching for water…
Like a fish swimming around searching for water, I’m realizing that no matter how hard I try or where I look I will never find love. I can’t ‘find’ love, I think, because it’s everywhere, everything, and everyone. I can let love into my life. I can experience love. I can bathe in it, but I’ll never look under a rock and say “Oh! There it is!”
And I’ll never be ‘get’ into a relationship, any more than I can “try” to go to sleep. I can act like I’m in a relationship – like a performer in a play I can choose a partner and recite the lines of relationship. I can say all the right things, buy the right flowers, live the right promises. A relationship, I believe, is a reflection of the energy or synergy between two people. Proclaiming that I want a relationship to be or look a certain way is like trying to argue with my own reflection: “That’s not what I look like!”
So I’m not going to sit here in front of this glowing screen and tell you that, if you show up and fit precisely into my box I’ll love you forever. Nor can I claim that I’m ‘ready’ to fall in love or be in relationship again. All I can do is suggest that we chat a little and, if it feels right we meet. If our hearts tend to want to open up as we sit across from one another drinking a cup of coffee, then we’ll sit a little longer.
“Show up, Pay Attention, Tell the Truth, and Don’t be Attached to Outcomes.” (from Angeles Arrien)
My “personal ad”
Me? I am a man who embraces paradox. I live on a golf course, but don’t play golf. I have website that supports caretakers of handicapped pets but I don’t have any animals. I run a business that supports companies in the renewable energy industry, yet I still tend to leave the bathroom light on when I leave the room. I am a Master Electrician trained in Reiki, a Microsoft Certified Professional that uses an iPhone, and a compassionate, romantic man who frequently needs alone-time.
I like thunderous waterfalls, forests that are nearly silent until you really listen, rushing through treetops on ziplines, formal cocktail parties, dinners where everyone laughs when someone burps, and I’ll eat (almost) anything except zucchini. My deepest unfulfilled fantasy is to make love in zero-gravity. I like to learn, explore, fix stuff, teach, and allow gratitude-energy to course through my meditations. I love to play, to touch, to massage, to neck, and have my back scratched for endless hours by long, sharp fingernails.
You? I have no idea who or what you are. I’ve met the woman of the dreams, several times, and found that my dreams roam as clueless as my waking wanderings.
Want to play? Take my breath away! Send me photos that make me gasp. You turn heads when you walk into a room and your eyes and your smile will capture me. My sweetheart is a gorgeous, brilliant, self-assured, self-aware woman who loves her life and can enjoy every moment without needing me to be anything other than exactly what I am. .. at least I think she is.
Confused?
Good.