A Little Background… A valentines day content on a dating site offered free radio time to the\u00a0 “Best Dating Story” winner.\u00a0 Notice all the shameless plugs for my website, HandicappedPets.com. Yes, I won…<\/i><\/p>\n
Typically, when I get a \u201cwink\u201d with no photo attached, I ignore it. The box that says \u201cAsk me for my photo\u201d should conclude with \u201cif you dare.\u201d I liked the screen name, though \u201cMirandaAndHerDog\u201d so I looked at her profile. Sounded sweet, called herself pretty, slim, exotic. Said \u201cMust love dogs\u201d and I do. In fact, I\u2019m the creator of a website for elderly, disabled, and special needs dogs called \u201cHandicappedPets.com.\u201d Figured that should be worth a few points.<\/p>\n
\u2026 so I dared and clicked \u201cAsk me for my photo.\u201d<\/p>\n
WHAM! My mailbox filled with the sweetest set of eyes I\u2019ve seen since \u201cTomb Raider.\u201d Long, straight brown hair with bumps and curves in all the right places. I would have scoffed, suspecting a \u2018bait and switch\u2019, but standing next to her was a drooling bug-ugly pug-dog that you had to be a mother to love. Could this be for real?<\/p>\n
I was right about HandicappedPets.com. She took one look at my website and was sold. \u201cSo many men just say they love dogs, you actually help thousands of dogs every day.\u201d We agreed to meet the next day at a restaurant \u201c\u2026with outside tables so I can bring Stanley, OK?\u201d<\/p>\n
I sat at the table in the warm sun, brimming with anticipation. I silently prayed that she looked as good as her photo although, from past experiences, I didn\u2019t really expect her to. Then she came around the corner and took my breath away. \u201cDrop dead gorgeous\u201d was an understatement \u2013 this woman could raise the dead with the promise of a smile.<\/p>\n
I stood up and moved to greet her. It was love at first sight. No, not for her, for her dog, Stanley. The pug rushed me and planted his nose in my crotch with a sickening thud. She grinned, captivating me again, and said \u201cIsn\u2019t that sweet, he likes you!\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cNo,\u201d I thought. That\u2019s not sweet at all.<\/p>\n
We ate dinner. I might have drooled, but Stanley did enough for the both of us \u2013 and all over my good black pants. We spent hours together that evening while she told stories about men who only pretended to love dogs while Stanley continued to inflate my dry-cleaning bill. I heard little, simply watching as her lips parted, her breasts shifting slightly under her white cashmere sweater, her shimmering hair and long fingernails speaking of thrills and delight.<\/p>\n
She was so taken by my work that she asked if I would have her over for dinner the following night so she could see where I built HandicappedPets.com. I bought an instant lottery ticket on the way home and was, frankly, a little surprised that it wasn\u2019t a winner.<\/p>\n
The next night, Friday, she showed up at my door in an outfit that would have left me gasping if Stanley hadn\u2019t already nailed that with his nose in my crotch. No sooner had we sat down then her cellphone rang.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh No!\u201d she said. \u201cI need to leave right away and see a friend. Can I leave Stanley here? It would be so great<\/em> if you and he became friends.\u201d<\/p>\n The words \u201cso great\u201d were filled with such promise that I nodded and she ran out the door.<\/p>\n It wasn\u2019t until Sunday night that I saw her again. The doorbell rang and I waded through the mess in my living room; broken plant pots, dirt, torn couch cushions, chewed shoes, puddles of slobber. Stanley was already at the door when I opened it and he jumped into Miranda\u2019s waiting arms.<\/p>\n Miranda turned away quickly, holding the dog, and said over her shoulder \u201cSorry, I have to go. I\u2019ll call you, OK?\u201d and got into the passenger seat of an obviously expensive sports car driven by a well dressed man. By the time I could frame my question, all I could see was Stanley in the back window of the Beemer as it sped away. He was peering at me over his wet nose. I swear he was laughing.<\/p>\n \u00a0… and No, it’s fiction.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" A Little Background… A valentines day content on a dating site offered free radio time to the\u00a0 “Best Dating Story” winner.\u00a0 Notice all the shameless plugs for my website, HandicappedPets.com. Yes, I won… Typically, when I get a \u201cwink\u201d with no photo attached, I ignore it. The box that says \u201cAsk me for my photo\u201d […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/88"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=88"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/88\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":511,"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/88\/revisions\/511"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=88"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=88"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=88"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}