{"id":150,"date":"2014-10-19T20:18:32","date_gmt":"2014-10-19T20:18:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/?page_id=150"},"modified":"2024-04-09T20:32:18","modified_gmt":"2024-04-09T20:32:18","slug":"an-honest-man","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/an-honest-man\/","title":{"rendered":"An Honest Man"},"content":{"rendered":"

Chapter I<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am truly an honest man\u2026 ask anyone! Nobody can call me a liar because I have never been caught in a lie. I’m smart. I’m strategic. I write down my lies in a little notebook so I’ll never forget to whom I told exactly what. It is hard to do. It involves a great deal of work. I am an honest man\u2026 ask anyone.<\/p>\n

\n

My God! How thick my little book has grown! And more, the web of stories and fabrications I have woven weigh heavily on my time, my patience, and my spirit. Is there really a need for it?<\/p>\n

No.<\/p>\n

Chapter II<\/strong><\/p>\n

It has taken years. It has taken hard work to break old habits and cement new ones to my psyche but finally, I am an honest man. In all things that matter I always tell the truth. It is very difficult.<\/p>\n

Of course, there are circumstances where the ‘truth’ needs to be stretched a little. Sometimes, the truth would hurt someone unnecessarily. On occasion I actually need to protect someone from the truth. Those are called “white lies.”<\/p>\n

Except for these innocuous little craftings that are for the good, I always tell the truth. It feels good to be an honest man.<\/p>\n

But where do I draw the line? Am I to be the ultimate judge of what is important, or of what is best for you to hear? When I tell you my “little white lie” haven’t I become a “little white rabbit” leading you, dear Alice, into a world where reality is not the same for you and I? Perhaps if we both help one another perceive reality we can both be better able to live. Can a man tell the truth in all things?<\/p>\n

Yes.<\/p>\n

Chapter III<\/strong><\/p>\n

I am an honest man. Every word I utter is the complete truth. Finally, after all these years I have discovered true honesty. It is hard. I have to constantly listen to and everything I say to make sure it is completely truthful.<\/p>\n

Being completely honest means that, when my friend asks what I think of her new hairdo, I tell her. If my employer asks what I think of his skill then he will know. If my lover wants to know if I have other lovers then she will know.<\/p>\n

My only respite, obviously, is the questions that are not asked. One friend told another about me “Be careful what you ask him because you may not like the answer.” I was quite proud of this label.<\/p>\n

But then was once in a situation where I was hoping, practically praying that a certain person didn’t ask a certain question. It would be devastating. I recognized the heated knot in the pit of my stomach as the same one I had felt when I was afraid of getting caught. Can I be telling a lie when I’m saying nothing at all? Can I tell a lie by non-action? Can silence be a lie?<\/p>\n

Yes.<\/p>\n

Chapter IV<\/strong><\/p>\n

Am I there yet, my friend? I tell no lies now, neither by speaking falsehoods nor by withholding truths. I’d say I was finally an honest man, but I have learned that honesty has undiscovered levels.<\/p>\n

But how can I be more honest than this?<\/p>\n

Then, one day, I told my love that my heart was pure. Later I discovered it wasn’t. How was I to know? How can I be held liable for that which I have not yet learned? The pain I caused with my innocent untruth was as torturous to her as if I had deceived her.<\/p>\n

For indeed I did deceive her. And I deceived myself as well. Because somewhere, deep within, I knew the truth and hid from it.<\/p>\n

So to be an honest man, must I delve deep inside my soul and know myself completely? As I am born on day one, must I then spend the rest of my days discovering what has been birthed?<\/p>\n

Yes.<\/p>\n

Chapter V<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear God, I have made it! I have looked inside my deepest soul and seen everything that is there. My unconscious has been freed and my fears have all been completely faced. I am transparent to the light. I am a marvel of mankind for I am the first, the only man without an unseen shadow. I have no undiscovered desires. I am devoid of phobias, exorcised of demons. And I am finally, truly, without contest, an honest man.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, I have died (of course).<\/p>\n

Chapter Infinity<\/strong><\/p>\n

And then I, a truly honest man, sent out a whisper to those who could hear me. I told them the secret of the universe. And knowing me to be an honest man, they believed me a re-ordered their lives.<\/p>\n

But still I led them astray. What I didn’t realize was that only God knows the secret of the universe. Perhaps then God is the only honest One.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Chapter I I am truly an honest man\u2026 ask anyone! Nobody can call me a liar because I have never been caught in a lie. I’m smart. I’m strategic. I write down my lies in a little notebook so I’ll never forget to whom I told exactly what. It is hard to do. It involves […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/150"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=150"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/150\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":152,"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/pages\/150\/revisions\/152"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/markcrobinson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}